“You say, Thank you for lifting this corner of the curtain so I can see the truth, maybe for just a minute, but in a way that might change my life forever.”
I am starting to wind down my year of therapy now, and the investment of time and money has been A+. I have been named a strong woman and I have been given tools to take into my future. I have relational work and heart work ahead of me still, but I have entered sacred space enough to know that this time was planned before the world began. I walked right into the rest of my life the day I walked into Ashley's office.
I wrote a poem to remember a story I hope I won't forget to tell.
Sacred Space
Each time I entered your sacred space,
The warm glow of lamplight in the warm room,
The light blue candle, the shelves of books,
The comfy couch I couldn't sit on,
And the way we made it work anyway:
(Thank you for giving me your chair)...
Each time I found a parking spot,
And left bright sunlight for a cocoon of safety,
And went to the restroom first every time,
Then opened my book to read in the waiting room,
And waited to be named and known:
(Thank you for being fully present)...
Each time I walked back to the world,
New pages of notes to tell me what's true,
An empty water bottle and a full disclosure,
A wish for freedom first, then for friendship,
Going home to practice because I can see the way:
(Thank you for showing me why and how)...
Each time my leaving was letting go,
Leaving inside out with a new take on life,
Leaving you to have your chair back,
Leaving a sacred space for the next person,
And leaving my heart for words in the air:
(Thank you for entering my sacred space.)
My heart overflows with gratitude for these gifts of wisdom, grace, and truth, and for the sacred space to receive them. Letting the light in has made me lighter and also stronger. Caddie Woodlawn said, "What a lot has happened since last year...How far I've come! I'm the same girl and yet not the same." Thank you to Ashley for helping this come true, and thank you to Anne Lamott for being my other therapist.
“Yet time, and showing up, turn most messes to compost, and something surprising may grow...”
“...as Father Tom says, every year you’ve been in recovery buys you one second of sanity in a crisis.”
“But ironically, once again, in the middle of so many things being defective or inadequate, something old inside me got healed.”
“But if you gently help yourself back to the present moment, you see how life keeps stumbling along and how you may actually find your way through another ordinary or impossible day. Details are being revealed, and they will take you out of yourself, which is heaven, and you will have a story to tell...Stories to tell or hear - either way, it’s medicine.”